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Breaking up is a situation that almost everyone can relate to – just about all of us have experienced the sting of being dumped or dumping someone. Sometimes, a breakup occurs when you need to get away from an unhealthy relationship.
In that case, ending things is a good idea. But sometimes when a split happens, you feel deep down that it isn’t a good idea – because you know that you belong with that other person.
This might be something that you’re going through right now. You’re away from the person that you love and need in your life because he or she ended the relationship.
Or maybe you did – but now you’ve had time to think things over and you realize that you were wrong to end it. But the trouble is that the other person isn’t feeling very open to reconciliation.
That’s why you need some guidance. You need to know how to make it so that you don’t look desperate – and use today’s technology to help you. You can use the instructions found in the Text Your Ex Back program to restore your relationship quickly.
What Went Wrong with the Relationship
Before you ever use any form of technology, you want to know what you have to fix so that you know what to say to the other person in an effort to undo the damage that’s been done.
Relationships don’t simply dissipate without some kind of warning. There are always clues that will show up when a relationship is in trouble. A lot of the time, you’ll find these clues hidden in the communication between the two of you – or rather – the lack of communication.
In any relationship, communication is a two way street and it takes both parties expressing what they want and need in order for it to work. When something isn’t working for one of the parties, this should be expressed.
But too often, this isn’t what happens. Instead, when one person is feeling like his or her needs aren’t being met, they won’t speak up. They’ll simply be silent when it comes to anything that’s not surface talk.
You’re still spending time together and talking about mundane stuff – what to eat, where to eat, which party to go to or what movie to see – but anything heavier than that gets swept aside.
Maybe that happened to you. You may have noticed that there was a distance between the two of you. It wasn’t anything that you could put your finger on and definitively label as what was wrong – yet, now that you think about it, you see that you felt something just wasn’t right.
Most people check out of a relationship mentally and emotionally long before they ever do physically. This is why people can think, “But everything was fine” – even when it wasn’t.
They just weren’t picking up on the non-verbal clues. So while you’re in the beginning stage of trying to get your ex back, you need to do a little emotional homework.
No matter how painful or upsetting it is to you, you need to look back over the communication and events that led to the breakup. This may require that you take a hard look at anything you’ve done or said that contributed to the breakup.
Sometimes, it can be so easy to be caught up in life that you forget to treat your relationships with the right amount of concern and care. That doesn’t mean that your situation is hopeless.
It only means that before you can fix whatever it was that tore apart the relationship, you have to know what it is and how to deal with it so that it doesn’t become an issue when things get worked out.
There are several common occurrences that cause relationships to break up. Money, sex and family or in-laws can wreak havoc on any relationship. But there are other factors that can slowly unravel a relationship, too – such as emotional baggage.
Some people have emotional baggage from their childhood or from a past relationship that was carried over into their current relationship. Emotional wounds need to be healed before you can make a good partner.
When you’re dealing with relationships where there are unresolved hurts, there can be a tendency to make the current partner ‘pay’ for the mistakes and damages caused by the past.
In order to make room for a healthy relationship, all emotional baggage needs to be sifted through and dealt with in order to find healing or the partner who has experienced a prior damaged relationship may find it difficult to trust, not allowing the present partner fully into their lives.
Possessiveness can cause a relationship to break up. Any person that puts another on an emotional leash is stepping beyond the boundaries of a healthy relationship – and this should be addressed.
Neediness is another relationship buster. Over time, two people with two separate lives can become too dependent on one another. Or one person can become clingy – unable to have outside interests or do things without the partner.
Expectations that no one can live up to can also break up a relationship. If you think your partner is perfect, that’s a sign that you have unrealistic expectations – something no one can live up to.
In the case where there is broken trust caused by lies or infidelity, the relationship can still be restored – but not without some soul searching, the offender owning up to his or her actions and a lot of hard work to lay a new foundation.
There are good reasons for wanting a relationship restored and there are bad reasons, too. The bad reasons for wanting a relationship restored are based on outlooks that aren’t healthy for you or for anyone in a relationship.
One bad reason to want to get your ex back is so that you’re not lonely. You may have heard that it’s better to be alone than to be with the wrong person – and it’s true.
It’s better to wait for the right person rather than hang onto someone that you’re in a relationship with just because you want the comfort of having someone around when you need them.
That’s not fair emotionally to you or the other person. Another reason that’s bad to want a relationship back is because you don’t want to be the single person among your circle of coupled friends.
Not wanting to be a third wheel on date night isn’t a good enough reason to restore a relationship with someone who you are broken up with – because you’ll just have to go through the breakup cycle again in your future.
It’s a bad reason to want to repair a relationship because you feel the need for the other person to save you from low self-esteem, past issues or from feeling empty.
You’ll find that Text Your Ex Back has many good reasons for restoring a breakup. Some of the good reasons for restoring a relationship would be reasons that didn’t drastically or permanently alter the dynamic of the relationship.
For example, infidelity alters the dynamics because it breaks trust. Spending too much time on a hobby such as video gaming doesn’t break trust. Problems that are external can be solved.
Examples of external problems would be a job loss or needing to move to another state to be together. Internal problems can be more difficult to resolve because these are often things such as interference from each partner’s family that causes sides to be chosen.
Each partner feels the pull to be ‘loyal’ to his or her family. Instead of telling the family members to mind their own business, many couples cave to the pressure from their family.
A healthy relationship should be between two people rather than a triangulated one – regardless of who the third person or third parties are.
Your Restoration Goal
When you’ve decided that you want to get your ex back, you need to know without any doubt the reason behind why you do. You’ve done some soul searching and you’ve come to the conclusion that you know you love your ex.
You also know that your ex still loves you – even though some issues may have clouded that sentiment. So you have to decide the reason behind the restoration. This is the time where you set your goals for getting your ex back.
When you have a goal to shoot for, it can be easier to keep on going when you feel like the situation isn’t working out that well. You need to have a concrete, unshakable goal.
To say you just want your ex back because isn’t a good enough goal. Now this is where it can get a little bit rough on you emotionally. After you’ve looked at anything you may have done to contribute to the breakup, you have to be able to fix it.
This isn’t where you start listing what you feel is wrong with the other person and what he or she did that led to the breakup. This is the down and dirty part where you start working on yourself.
Whatever issues you have that contaminate a healthy relationship need to be fixed. Are you ready to do whatever it is you need to do to get yourself in the right place?
If you can answer that you are, then you’re ready to start working on the relationship and getting that person back in your life. But if you think that you have no faults, you’re not ready.
If your partner complained that you were a workaholic or that you partied too much, you might need to look at that before you’re ready to take the next step.
Remember that you can’t fix another person’s issues for them.
You can fix your reaction to their issues, but not what drives them to do or say what they do. This is the point where you have to decide if what they do or have done in the relationship is a deal breaker.
It’s not fair for you to want to work on things because you want them back – only to turn around and hold problems over that person’s head when you’re back together. Deal with whatever it is once and then let it go.
Learn How Relationship Texting Works
You might think that a text is simply a text and that you can fire off any number of texts to your ex and just keeping your name in front of them will be enough to have them crawling back to you.
You might think that constantly contacting the ex and pouring your heart out means that he or she will see how much you care and that everything will work out fine.
But that’s not the case. There is a way that you can send texts to your ex that will actually drive them further away from you to the point that he or she cuts off all contact.
There’s also a way that you can text that will pull them toward you. You have to be able to know the difference between the two. Emotions can run high after a breakup – even months after the split.
These emotions are what can be used to bring the two of you back together again. You need to know how to tap into these emotions to get your ex thinking back in a positive manner about the relationship.
There are some texts that should not ever be sent – and you need to know what these are. Too many people have sent sad texts or texted their exes when they were drunk. This is an easy way to damage the relationship and is counterproductive to the goal you have in mind.
So many people communicate today on social media. In fact, more people stay in touch with one another over the Internet than they do in person. So it’s become the norm to check a post to see what’s going on someone’s life.
You can use social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr as places where you can reconnect with your ex in addition to using text-based communication.
Since you might not want the world to see what you have to say, you can send your ex a private message using social media. But sometimes, having some public things on your accounts for your ex to see will work in your favor.
For example, you can take a picture of yourself in a place where you and the ex always enjoyed visiting. You can post that photo on Instagram. The reason that posting a photo like this is a good idea is because when your ex sees that, it reminds him or her of you.
It reminds that person of the good times that the two of you shared. By tapping into the positive, emotional feelings associated with the past, your ex is reminded of the good times.
But just like using texting to communicate with your ex, there’s a good way that you should be using social media and there’s a bad way. It’s all in how you talk to him or her.
And Text Your Ex Back can teach you how to use communication skills to reach your ex – skills that you can apply when you use social media to contact them. You’ll learn which words can reach your ex’s heart and what things you should absolutely not say.
Social media can be used to show your ex what he or she is missing out on. You may have heard that jealousy is a bad thing. And it can be. But used the right way, it can be a tool to restore what you once had.
Jealousy is a very powerful motivator when it comes to having an ex return – especially if they’re the ones who did the leaving. When they see you with someone new, they start to remember how it used to be their place to be by your side.
A relationship between two people has an intimacy that shuts out the rest of the world. This emotional safe place is where two people let their guard down and they trust someone with their heart.
It creates a strong bond. That bond is not necessarily broken by physical absence. That’s why a breakup causes you to feel emotional pain. Your bond has been stretched past where it should be.
Sadly, most people react the wrong way to a breakup. They use social media to bombard the other person and obsessively send them messages. They flood their inbox or their pages with loving remembrances.
Or sometimes they flood their ex’s page with angry messages. That doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. In fact, it reinforces to them why they broke up with you in the first place.
By learning what to say and using specific words for men and specific words that relate to women, you’ll know exactly how to talk to your ex. Your words won’t simply fall on deaf ears – but will reach the depths of their hearts and make them reach back out to you.
For my full in depth review of Text Your Ex Back, watch the video below.